10-TV FICTION CLASSICS

"Okay," Ted answered nonchalantly. "Well? Get ready," I commanded.

BORN TO BE

"Okay...okay, leave the room," Ted stated. Apparently, he felt uncomfortable undressing with me looking on as though he was a guy and I was a woman.

I got his hint and went to my bedroom to dress for our shopping trip. I was still uncomfortable shopping as a woman, but it was no longer terrifying. I changed into a white blouse, red skirt, nude nylons, and red three inch heels. I was astonished when Ted emerged from his room in a baggy sweatshirt, blue jeans, and scruffy tennis shoes. On top of that, he hadn't touched up his makeup. Seeing his unkempt state, I screeched, "Barbie! That will never do!" "What? I look okay," he defended himself while looking in a mirror.

"You can't go looking like that. You have to wear a skirt and heels to go shopping!" I pointed a long polished fingernail at him.

"Skirt?...Heels? Why?"

"If you go shopping looking like that, someone is sure to recognize you as a male! You must wear this, and this, and this!" I shouted while indicating the items I wanted him to wear. This was his first shopping trip as a girl, and I didn't want him to embarrass me.

Twenty minutes later, he walked into the living room in a pink blouse, short white skirt, nude nylons, and white two inch heels. He stood in the door with his arms at his side and his head lowered.

"Walk around the room, head up, shoulders back." It did my heart good to watch him walk slowly with short steps as the tight skirt restricted his stride.

We shopped for a half hour before I whispered to Ted, "Barbie, you shop like a guy."

"What? But I am a guy. This masquerade is only for the holiday season," he stammered.

I looked around to make sure nobody was within ear shot, "Barbie, you have to examine the clothes. Pretend to have fun. Don't buy the first thing you find."

"All right, Mom," Ted sighed.

"Isn't this lovely?" I gushed, holding up a multicolored blouse.

"Yeah, it looks all right," Ted shrugged his shoulders. "Barbie, you've got to show more interest," I instructed. "Why?"

"Your deal with Bob states that no money will be paid if

A DAUGHTER

SANDY THOMAS ADVERTISING -11

your true gender is revealed. If the money means nothing to you, why are you doing this?" I returned to the rack of clothes.

Ted stood motionless, deep in thought. Slowly he moved towards me, "Da.. .Mom, I'm sorry. Uhmm, would you help me out with this shopping thing? I'm kind of new at it."

I silently gloated in triumph. "First, don't grab, pay, and leave like guys shop. Girls look, compare, comment and look some more. Also, your vocabulary has to change. 'Okay' is really a bland word. 'darling' and 'lovely' are more colorful words to use," I advised, loving how this experience was putting my cocky, bigoted son in his place. "Isn't this bra darling?" I gushed as I held the lacy pink demibra in the tips of my fingers.

We were in Frederick's of Hollywood shopping for intimate apparel, and Ted was extremely uncomfortable. I considered it sweet revenge for all the terrible things he had called me.

"Barbie? Is something wrong?" I asked when I saw him holding a skimpy black bra in his fingers.

"No, I'm doing okay," he lied, small beads of sweat formed around his hairline. "Yes, that bra looks darling. Too bad you don't have. . .," Ted trailed off as if he was thinking, "Dad can't have real breasts like Mom. He's only acting like a woman for the same reason I am!"

"I'll take this bra and the matching panties," I informed the clerk. "Honey, don't you want to buy something?" Ted blushed under his light makeup. "No, I think I'll look around some more."

"How about earrings?" I suggested, knowing how Ted felt about his double pierced lobes.

"No, I can wear yours," Ted blurted as his hand went to the gold hoops in his ears.

"Barbie, you have to practice," I said, leading him by his arm into the earring store. "How about this pair?" I smiled, while holding up a pair of large, wide, white plastic hoops.

I noticed a glazed look as he stared at the swinging white hoops. "Y...yes, I'll take those, the smaller ones there, the large blue ones, and. . .," Ted stated in a monotone voice as if he was in a trance.

"Barbie, sweetheart. Are you all right?"

"Yes...yes," Ted said in a more normal girlish voice. "I'll take that one and the smaller pair next to it."

"Take off your present earrings and wear the ones you just purchased?" I suggested.

"Why?" he asked.